Fatherhood and its onus

Oladotun O.F

Just like everywhere in the world, Father’s Day is celebrated today. To me, Father’s day should not be like every other day. It should not be about receiving compliments, accolades and gifts from your children or foster kids. it should be a day for all the fathers and “prospective fathers” alike to ruminate on their roles and onus to their kids; obligations as the head of family which is the microcosm of society; services to their immediate societies and legacies for the generations yet unborn. It should also be a day set aside to charge most men who have erroneously lost their place of headship at the home-front and society.


I still look forward to seeing a father’s day when all men and fathers alike will gather together in an organised open forum, seminars or workshop or whatever you can call it, in order to deliberate on life changing strategies for peaceful homes and come up with lifetime recommendations to be successful fathers in any areas and field of endeavours they find themselves.

Every year I have watched Father’s Day celebration like today, it seems to me that the essence to why this day was set aside has not been well defined, what do i mean? Fatherhood is no child’s play. God, who institutionalised the first marriage and strategically positioned man to assume the headship of the family which naturally termed “Father” knows the reasons why He did that, apparently it has got spiritual connotation. What i am saying in essence is, fatherly role should be all encompassing; a father should be the spiritual head, financial head, moral enforcer and protector of his home. He should not be lacking in his fatherly role.


Fathers of 20th century and 21 century I must say do have all lot of work to do. Why I say this is because the nitty-gritty of fatherhood is gradually being swept under the carpet. We need to also understand that fatherhood is about representing God here on earth Nowadays, quite a number of fathers are missing it in the area of being there for these kids.

Recently, it was announced that a father impregnated his own 17 old daughter. How horrific that sound! Some fathers are overly busy building empire of businesses and providing for the kids that might end up dragging their most cherished names in the mud! Of course, it is 100% certain that when you fail in your duty as good father to your kids expect them to be worst kids to you in the long run. It is a win-win game! What you give is what you get. Fatherhood is not only about showering your kids with gifts, flying them around world for holidays and buying them cars or whatever they desire. It is about helping them to lead good lives begining from infancy to when they are fit to make important decisions themselves.

Ironically, that could only be achieved when the father himself is leading an exemplary life, because you cannot give what you don’t have! We can now see that we fathers have huge assignment before us. We need to be well-loaded with wisdom to set good tracks for children and wards alike to follow. We have been positioned in their lives not to lead them astray but to set them on the right track of life which will in turn help us to have an everlasting happiness when we are old.
I remember a friend when as a little boy in Lagos, his father was a chain smoker, at tender age he was already a passive smoker. I remember his father would send him to buy pack of cigarettes for him at the departmental stores. It wasn’t too long before I saw my friend rehearsing with cigarette butts from his father ash tray. Before he clocked 18, he had become a professional chain smoker like his father. I wasn’t surprised when I saw him. Today, he is a family man and still struggling to quit smoking, blaming his father for his smoking habits and ill manners. Believe me, if he doesn’t quit, one of his kids will soon see him smoke and follow suit. What a vicious circle that would be!

The moral lesson there is that, never set a bad example as a father. We are to be a blessing to our kids not a curse. To all the fathers in Nigeria, Africa and all the over the world. YOU ARE GREAT!!!. 3 Gbosa!

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